I used to think that need was not a good thing. If you had need of something, it rendered you 'helpless' which in today's world would translate to 'not a good place to be.' Having pursued a life of 'getting what I want,'  it dawned on me that fulfilling my wants wasn't enough. I woke up to the fact that I was feeling very 'dissatisfied with the present equipment of life.' I had a need that could not longer be fulfilled by the sense organs, it was a hunger that could not be met by satisfying the cravings of the appetite.

Reaching the pinnacle of my career almost five years ago,  I felt empty inside. 

It is precisely this emptiness and this need that propelled me into the current state in which I find myself today.  Outwardly, less than before, inwardly fuller than ever. Outwardly, I am half the woman I used to be, inwardly I am childlike.